Cornelius

I was talking with one of my friends a couple months ago and said something that I thought was true at the time but I just couldn't find where I had gotten it from.

I told him that I had read that unbelievers who never have a chance to get to know God but who know instinctively good could go to heaven. Now after I said this I knew something was wrong about it and needed to go back and reaffirm what I had stated. I even thought I had a few verses to back it up. However. After doing quite a bit of extensive searching and a bit of thinking, that just doesn't make sense.

The biggest argument I have against it is that God knows when we are willing to know Him. Is my God so small that He wouldn't send somebody to tell that person about Christ??? No way. If someone who doesn't know God is looking for answers and seeking wholeheartedly, I know God will put the right person in his path.

Why would I not see that before?

I have a couple of ideas. 1 So that I'll admit I was wrong, and maybe put my pride aside. (Maybe...) 2 So I will search His Word to find answers, as well as learn a few other things along the way. 3 Sometimes I fall asleep while I'm reading, so there is a possibility that I was also imagining what I was reading. Which is VERY dangerous. As I so aptly showed in my so called "knowledge" what I thought I had learned.

Which gets back to that I actually base my opinion on this matter in Acts 10. It's the story of Peter while in Joppa and a Roman officer named Cornelius. He believed in God but knew nothing about Jesus, and had received a vision to invite Peter into his home. At that time it was against Jewish law for Peter to be associated with Cornelius and Peter admits to being rather uncomfortable in his house, but Peter has this wild urge to tell about Christ anyways. It says in 10:44 "Even as Peter was saying these things, the Holy Spirit fell upon all who were listening to the message."

What I get from this is that Cornelius could have gone on living his life being devout to God. But that wasn't enough for God. God wanted him to experience the freedom of Christ, and with Cornelius' willing heart, He sent Peter across thousands of Jewish laws that no one understood that they didn't mean anything anymore.

It means that God knew Cornelius was willing to accept Christ, and put Peter in his face to tell him about Jesus. There was no oops or well, Cornelius will find the answers himself, no, Peter was specifically placed in front of him. That's no oops.

And I know this time, I wasn't sleeping the million times I have read this chapter.

Although now I can rest easy that unbelievers who are seeking will find God in their face; it also gives me a greater ambition to be the one in their face armed with God's Word.

And I know it was only a mistake, but I also know I am responsible for double checking before I say anything, even if I am saying it to other believers. And for that I am truly sorry.

I've seem to have gotten a free day today.

I woke up expecting to be taking care of Oliver, but as it turns out he and his family are still out of state. And I was all prepared to take care of him today. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or excited. Probably both.

I haven't been praying to get involved or anything, but in last few weeks, well, it's just been weird. Like looking for houses in Lansing has opened thousands of doors for me and my family (as well as shut many others). I was planning on joining a woman's bible study, but it was bad timing and I was sort of bummed that it didn't work out. I let it go, figuring that I wasn't meant to be there. So a friend of mine just yesterday asked if I wanted to join her study, which is at a much more convenient time and not only that but it has several women from different churches, not just Riv, attending. That is something I am very interested in.

The reason I am interested in studies filled with people from other denominations is because I feel as though Christianity has been ripped apart by minor differences and I would like to see them tied all together as one in the body of Christ. I think it's possible. In fact, I know it's possible.

There is only one God and there is only one Bible. The difference is there is many interpretations of God and His Bible, it just depends if the men who did the interpreting knew the heart of God, or were putting Hebrew words in Americanized English format. God and His Bible are still the same.

So we'll see how it goes.

Fantasy Football

The thing about fantasy football is that the guys watch more football than just their team. Take for instance, they have a guy on their fantasy football team on the Packers, it's not that they like the Packers, but they have one guy that they watch the entire game to see how many points he racks up.

Usually this is while they are logged into their fantasy site and watch as the statistics roll. They have to see it when the numbers go up on their site.

Josh happens to be in first place right now. Which is all and great. But whether he is in first or 10th, I still find out more about football than I ever knew about.

I'm one of those girls who understand what guys are talking about when they talk sports. I really don't mind that Josh is into football. I'm being honest here. It gives him something to do and think about besides the usual daily things. He never had a hobby until he got into football. And although he can go overboard on all that happened in one day (as in anything), if I feel I can't give my full attention to him and his sports, I tell him. That's what marriage is about.

Can we not talk about football for the rest of the day?

Okay but this one last thing before we're done...

Okay, (as if it's a treat to tell me one more thing before we're done talking about it)

Seriously, get serious about communication in your relationships, especially if you're married.

I had an interesting thing happen in the last few days. Josh and I happen to have good communication skills. If he is talking too much and interrupts me, I tell him. Same goes for me, if I'm being stubborn about something, he tells me. We just communicate really well.

In the last week I've had several instances where people are questioning our ability to communicate, stating that Josh always has the upper hand in the relationship. Which is not true. Although I'd like to say I have supreme authority in our marriage, I have just as much say in what goes on in our lives. Sometimes though, I give up my rights because Josh may be better in one area that I am weak in. Or visa versa. Such as the girls and their education. I make sure they are learning what they need to and put into action. Josh takes on the school itself. He's the one who gets involved with the school (PTAs) and communicates and works out any problems with teachers or other bodies of people. That's because his strong suit is communication and the ability to get things done. My strong suit is to encourage and re-enforce or correct ideas learned while they are out of my reach.

Marriage is like that. Josh and I usually have talked out situations and problems way before they even happen. We're planners. And in the rare occasion the issue hasn't come up, we talk about it later. Usually Josh takes over and I listen to the background noise, watch body language and observe.

Josh is definitely the talker between the two of us. I am just not good at communicating what I mean, when I'm talking with other people. And Josh knows that. Usually we agree on things.

Although it may not seem like it, there really is an obtainable goal of awesome communication between a man and his wife. One of the major keys to a marriage is honesty, hasn't that been beaten into the ground? But it's true. The second, is being available to give your spouse your full attention to what's important to them and talking out issues as they arise.

So when I ask, can we be done talking about football? It's letting him know that I would be disrespecting him by tuning him out because I just don't have the will to listen anymore. It's that simple.

My girls love their cousin, Oliver. Dar was just showering him in kisses. Just a few minutes ago I found Laurel talking to him, and he was intently listening to her, as if he knew exactly what she was saying. He seems to be doing really well, progessing from milestone to milestone almost like he is the 4th child. I'm really excited that he has this opportunity to be with us, and he's taking full advantage of it.

Which on the flip side, he's also taking full advantage of the girls getting toys for him. And just being lazy. Being that he is the firstborn in his family, he better enjoy it while he can. It doesn't last long, let me tell you.

For me personally, taking care of 4 kids is challenging my boundries as both a mom and an individual. I now make sure I take out time just for Mel, so I can be refreshed for when I do have all 4. Before I started taking care of Ollie, I was just squeezing it in when it was convient. If I was taking it at all. Now I tend to get up earlier so that I'm able to take care of myself before the rest of my day starts.

I filled out my applications for a few coffee shops in the Waverly area. I am planning on visiting a few others while I'm up there, just to see if I can get some weekend hours. I'm not really in it for the money, but just to re-establish who I am as a person. Actually it's more so I get adult conversations back into my life. I want to start talking to people on a normal basis again. I'm excited and scared, because I never know where something like this is going to lead me.

So if you think of me this next couple of days, put in a prayer that I will have the confidence to put in for those jobs, and seize opportunity if it arises. Pray that He will put me in a place where I can glorify Him the most.

Yeah. Exactly.

I get cake

We sort of surprised Josh for his birthday. Well, he knew he was getting a cake, but he didn't know I was going to surprise him with it while we were at his brothers house. Come to think of it, his brother didn't know either. Actually, I didn't know that I was going to surprise him at his brothers house. I surprise myself all the time. Or rather, do a lot of things, spontaneously.

I asked him earlier what kind of cake he'd like and told him I was planning on buying one (I'm really not a cake baking type... In fact I'm really not the celebrating birthdays or holidays type either). Mom and I figured we would just celebrate when Josh got out of work. However I forgot we were going to look at houses last night, so it really wasn't feasible to have a party here.

So I baked a cake.

And then had to decide whether I should surprise him at work or surprise him at his brother's house. It just seem to work out better that I waited until after we looked at the houses and went to pick up the girls. The girls kept asking, "Mom? Can I have some cake?" "You have to wait for Daddy to get some cake." "Are we eating cake now?" "No, Dad is not here." "Who's birthday is it, oh yeah, it's Daddy's. I get cake."

Josh had to pick up his car from work after looking at houses, so I had a little time to rush over to Barn's and light the candles. However, do you know how long it takes to set up and light 27 candles? I realized that the lid of the dish had stolen frosting off the top of the cake, so I had to refrost it. Then I counted out the 27 candles. Josh pulled into the driveway at this time so Melissa sent Barney out to distract Josh, while Laurel, Dar and I set up the rest of the cake. Laurel and Dar were chirping about it being Daddy's birthday and we were surprising him with a cake. After I shushed them, I told them it was a secret and they were not allowed to run to the door and let Josh know of our surprise. By the time I got that concept across, we finished putting the candles in the cake. I had half of the candles lit when I realized the first few candles had started to tip over into the cake. 5 matches later, I told the girls to tell Josh to come inside. "Come in Daddy! Come in!" The girls beckoned. He walks in the door and the first thing he says is....

I smell candles.

27 candles abstractly placed on homemade chocolate cake, with us crooning the usual Happy Birthday tune. Nothing spectacular nor slightly out of the ordinary. But the girls, all the same, were so excited to be a part of the birthday surprise.

They just wanted cake.

Poptart for breakfast anyone?

The fear of every mother is the fated question.

Why does Oliver have a pop-tart???

What?! I exclaim.

Evidentially in the rush of Josh's happy birthday bliss, and several versions of happy birthday later, Cassie slipped Oliver a pop-tart for breakfast. This kid is already allergic to several things, and with all the good stuff that is in a pop-tart, I wouldn't be surprised if we found something else he is allergic to.

Only a 2 year old would give a 5 month old a strawberry milkshake pop-tart.

Horizons

We went to the party and Laurel did great. There was a couple there that brought their 2 puppies and she didn’t freak out. It was amazing.

I realized I haven’t been writing. I’ve been busy, but that’s not really an excuse. If I had wanted to write then I would have made time to write. Right?

Today is Josh’s birthday, give him a call, send him a card. We have been house hunting and today we are double checking some houses, and hopefully putting in offers. It’s crazy to think we’ll be in a house again. I’m curious to see where it will lead us.

I like to over-think things, and it’s hit pretty hard in the last few weeks. When I over-think, I don’t just let myself enjoy where I’m at. I just worry about nothing, really. Nothing.

So I’m reading this book about how Christianity compares with Buddhism and Hinduism. The author was born in India, and is a Christian although I’m not sure if I agree absolutely with all of his theories, but his concepts are going the right way. Although he travels worldwide, he doesn’t quite understand American culture. Sometimes he takes a culture thing and he doesn’t quite get that it is something that is meant to be funny or strike you odd. But reading his background of India is fascinating. It feels like to me, that where I live, you get a broad spectrum of Christianity. Christianity, I think is a majority religion in America, although I can’t verify that. However, in places such as India, there are a lot of religions that battle with other concepts of religion than the one we so universally call Christianity. It was something I never really considered being that I live here in the US. Not seriously enough anyways.

It broadened my horizons, I suppose you could say.

Laurel came home yesterday and told me,

"Mom! I wasn't scared of the dog! I like cats. I'm not scared anymore, I feel much better."

Translation: I can't keep my thoughts in focus but I'm pretty sure I'm not scared of the dog at school anymore. Even if I am still scared, I'm trying reverse psychology to convince myself and the whole world around me.

We will see. We're going to a tailgate/Josh's work party tonight and they have a really big (although calm) dog.

But Mom, I don't want to go to school.

I've been talking with Laurel about what you do when you are scared. I've been telling her to pray when she is scared of something. So today she finishes her breakfast and tells me she wants to stay home with me today, not go to school.

"Why do you want to stay home?"
"I'm sick, I want to stay home with you."
"Where does it hurt?"
"My... arm."
"If your arm hurts I still have to send you to school."

We went around like this for a good five minutes and then told her that if I let her skip school that I would get into trouble with the law. So I got her out of her pj's and when she realized I was going to send her to school anyways, she's quickly says,

"Mom I don't want to go to school, there's a dog there and I'm scared."
"What do we do when we are scared?"

She fumbled around with this. So I took her into my room and we prayed about it, I cried through the entire thing. After we closed in prayer, she was more than ready and excited again to go to school.

With Laurel you never know what she's thinking, if perhaps she was imagining a dog or if she saw one while sitting on the school bus. So I called the teacher just so she was in the know that Laurel was deathly afraid of dogs. Her teacher knew that there was a dog across the street that usually it barks at the kids while they play, and sometimes it gets loose. If Laurel saw it barking or running around, she would have been definately afraid. She's the first to climb up the nearest adult whenever a dog is around.

It's much harder to be a parent than to be the kid who goes to school to deal with their fears.

Ungodliness

I woke up around 4 in the morning today just thinking about things. Actually, all night in my dreams I've been fighting with the thought of being able to prophesy. I know a woman who I held in high respect, that had this gift of prophesy. And I thought at first my struggle was that our prophesies coincided. But I think the real struggle was that they didn't coincide and I wanted to know who was actually Godly.

I think I know the answer, and I don't like it.

So it got me thinking of other things, which woke me up at 4 in the morning.

I've been running around with this verse swirling around my head:

For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and [a]pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and [b]seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.

Romans 8:5 (AMP)

I've been reading this book called Under God, which is a collection of 1 to 2 page short stories about the American Forefathers. The amazing thing was that it happened to famous people who I never thought of as Godly people, just history. Makes it a little more real the people who lived before us.

The point is that these stories are about God and his amazingness to still work in the lives of men after the Bible era. We read about unreal stories in the Bible and never think it could happen after that. It's far and few in between. But He does work in the lives of ordinary men, knowing full well who they will become. Makes me want to have the faith like those men.

And thus the struggle with my ungodliness. I know my fight through the night wasn't about prophesy at all. It was gearing me up into the right direction, to think about God first and then think what I could be doing better. About the strong kind of faith I could have.

And deep down, somewhere I do have that kind of faith hiding inside of me.