Weird

The most weird thing happened to me today. I'm not even sure weird is the right word for it, it's was astounding, and just overall amazing.

I usually make my way through life not making eye contact or talking with anyone besides my own kids. I think it's just I don't have the confidence. I'm not sure I try anymore.

I tend to go to the grocery store and pretty much apologize my way through it. Usually one of my girls are running into someone or gets into someones way, so I am constantly saying that I'm sorry. But I actually see people then, I look them in the face and for what little time I have, I try to be as gracious as I can be. Some people are super grouchy, others, it makes them smile that 3 little girls are following around their mom like ducklings. That may be the only smile they have that day.

A guy today said hi to me, and usually I just say hi back and keep on going, but today I said, Hi, how are you?

He wasn't pretty. In fact although his hair was freshly cut and clothes were clean, he walked limply with a walker and his face was severely scarred. Slowly and stuttering, it was hard to hear and understand him, but his story poured out of him that 23 year ago, he went out in the street on his bike, and got hit by a car.

The words that keep haunting me is when he told me, "Never give up." Like my own personal message. "I haven't given up," he says and that was very clear.

I keep thinking about Jesus and the lame beggar, or the blind man. Both outcasts of society, overjoyed when Jesus healed their needs; unlike them this man didn't let his outward appearance deter his desire to talk to people and tell them about Jesus or his willingness to never give up. He was living proof that Jesus doesn't have to be alive to be evident in our lives, to have a desire to keep on keeping on, no matter what is handed on our plates.

Last night I went out with my sister-in-laws, and the waitress came to drop off the bill, she fumbled around in her pocket and finally started unloading it. Embarrassed she pulled out a Gideon Bible, and said, "Yeah I got handed this today, it's just been one of those days. I guess someone thought I needed to get me some religion."

I keep thinking, what could I have possibly said? It just seems that God placed her in my hands for a reason, just like He placed the man at the store.

I don't even think I'm trying to understand the why, I'm trying to understand the what do I need to do next. I'm lost here. It just feels like someone is barging in and throwing people into my lap when all I want is just to make it to the end. And I know I have a small life, I don't deny it. All I can handle is taking care of my girls. These little encounters throw me off. I have to step back and think before I act as I shake off the impact.

I don't know what to think right now.