Heart of Gold

Today is suppose to be gorgeous out. We will see.

Laurel's teachers are coming out to the house to visit us. Laurel got to meet her new teacher, and it's a woman I've known since I was really little. She looks at me and says, "You look awfully familiar." "Yes, I am Tonie's daughter." (No, I didn't say Mel...) "Melanie? No way! I am old enough already!" It'll be interesting how Laurel will do this year. This teacher has a tendency to be negative, but I think it will do Laurel some good to start to deal with people in a positive manner, who don't tend to be so. Especially in authority.

That's one of those things I learned in my life that has helped me a lot. Realizing the authority that has been put over me, and respecting it. I think it really stemmed from starting to care about elections when I got old enough to vote and noticing other areas of my life which I was being disrespectful. I will be honest. I disagree with a lot of what Gov. Granholm does and says, but she has been put into authority for my state for a reason. I respect the fact that God has given her the opportunity to serve the people of Michigan. My mouth tends to get me into trouble (doesn't it all of us???) in this area, but sometimes you have to respect the office, if you don't respect the person. She has a hard job. No one can deny that.

When I was a teen, our church had a change of pastors. I realize this happens quite often for some churches, but this pastor had been there for years on end. And it divided the church over a stupid matter that had happened in the church. I believed in that pastor, and in my stubbornness I decided that I wasn't going to like any pastor they put into office after that. Just to be stubborn.

We had an interim pastor put in, and I rejected him simply because he wasn't my old pastor. I totally disrespected him, in every way possible. I was a pretty stubborn kid.

But I wanted a job like most teens do. The pastors wife just happened to ask me to clean her house, once a week, usually on Saturday mornings. So the pastor would come home for lunch and we would all sit around the table and eat. He would ask me questions and talk about different things, most of which I don't remember now. Slowly I found that I actually like the man, he wasn't the horrible beast I had imagined he would be. He always said, "The best times and talks we ever had with our family is around the dinner table. My family and I would sit for hours just talking with each other after we had eaten." And true to his word, when I would work there, after we had eaten lunch, we would take some time afterwards and talk. It was the best time. It's one of those frozen memories in my heart.

Now this pastor was brutally honest. He would talk openly about even the sensitive issues. He loved with his whole heart and wasn't choosy who he loved. Where the first pastor bowed out, this pastor stood and guided our church, no matter what other people said about him.

I admire his integrity. I may of said that when I turned 18 I started to respect authority, but I admit that it started much earlier than that.

I actually wrote a song about him. Here's the lyrics.

Heart of Gold
I once knew a man with a heart of gold, he walked with God by his side.
He knew when he needed help with his life, and I stood and watched.
As he knelt and prayed, he prayed for my soul that I would seek God's face.
As I watched him pray, God wanted me to see the fullness of His grace.

This man loved to listen to the lives of other men, and tell stories of his youth.
He spoke of integrity and morals he never had, until he sought God's only truth.
And he wept and prayed with all the people that he touched, he wanted them to see God's place.
And I wasn't the only one he wanted to see, God was also seeking my face.

And one day he fell like all men do, he wasn't yet lost to this life.
He called me to help and this is what he said he saw while he slept last night.
"I'd walked into the light and saw God's face, and now I'm going to go home."
And when he died then I knelt and prayed so I wouldn't have to face it alone.

I don't have to face it alone.

So I wept that night and prayed to this God that he wept and prayed to before.
I'm sure he prayed for my life to reflect the beauty of God's pure heart of gold.

God's man has a heart of gold.
Of gold...
I hope to have the heart of gold.


That's it. Maybe one day I'll get a recording up here, quite honestly I don't know how, and haven't really looked.

Sorry for the long post. It seems kind of preachy and discombobulated, all at the same time.

News

Today is an exciting day.

Laurel has kindergarden round-up today. Laurel's teacher keeps asking how old Dar is, I'm not sure it's because she forgets or because Dar acts older than her age. Whatever. Dar isn't going to preschool until the fall of 2007, she won't be old enough for this year.

Yesterday the girls and I played outside the whole afternoon. Rather, they played outside while I worked, that's usually how it goes anyways. But when I started up the tractor, they got to take turns riding back to the wood pile in back. I'd unload the branches and they all climb into the tractor trailer and ride it back up to the front of the yard. It was fun to see them trying to race the tractor (the 2 that weren't riding on my lap) to the wood pile, so they could get a ride back. Fun stuff.

This week is suppose to be nice out, I can't wait to go outside with the girls again.

Latebloomer

I get all weird when someone knows something about me that I think very few people know. I think it's only because it reveals me, a person who is very different than the face I like to put on each day.

I am always struggling with a concept of sorts. Lately it's been about how God reveals himself to us today. You know, since there are no burning bushes telling us His will for our lives. No obvious signs. I am really struggling with this concept.

I am so caught up in hoping to have some part in God plan, because it feels like I have no part what-so-ever. I know somewhere I have made some impact on a few lives around me, it just bothers me that I don't get to see results. And it shouldn't bother me. My mind knows that.

But it still bothers me.

Yesterday I took a look at our finances, we've been tracking them this month to see where the money has been going. Somehow or another we ended up with a surplus of money, that I have no idea where it came from. Seriously. I thought that we were really behind, when we are so far ahead it doesn't seem possible. I've been thinking about giving a good sum of it to someone else who really needs it. Josh won't exactly like the idea, but it's one of those laid on my heart kind of things.

And I tend not to be generous with that sort of thing. I wouldn't say I'm greedy, but I am very cautious. I still want to prepare for emergencies that don't exist.

Just in the last few years I've seem to get more of a handle on who I am and who I want to be. I'm not saying that they are colliding just yet, but I am much more content in who I am. Which is a big step forward. Not the usual backward success.

I am such a latebloomer. I am the later-than-the-usual-latebloomer.

I'm a Hypocrite, yes I am...

Email is awesome.

It's just way too easy to send an email.

That really wasn't what I've been thinking about today, because I didn't send any email. At all. How is that for random?

I had a Melism today, which was: I always say I am being one thing and end up another, so I guess I'm a hypocrite. Which if I say I'm a hypocrite, then I'm actually not...? Does that mean I know exactly what I'm not? Josh said that I wasn't a hypocrite I am just inconsistent. Consistently inconsistent. And since Josh said it, then I'll go with it. I didn't say it. I just nodded my head.

"This is good."

Doesn't the title to this blog sound like a song; a very bad twangy country song? Sang by some scrawny guy with acne and an old cowboy hat. Who can't sing. And is bald. Has a do-whop group with the blue faced bald monkeys.

Monkeys are not funny.

But they always make me laugh. It's dumb. It's childish. But funny. Stick monkey into any sentence and people instantly laugh.

I want to go eat Monkey ice cream.

Or...

I just want to Monkey a movie.

How about...

I have to go Monkey to the store.

Alright, so I'm the only one laughing.

Monkey.

Blank of the day.

Sometimes you just don't want to know things about a person.

Somethings just gross me out that have no gross qualities about them.

That's a random Melism for you guys today.

I got this rockin random cd that I've been listening to today. I got up this morning at 530 to go with my mom to workout, and while I was driving I was listening to this cd, which I was surprised to find something I liked. A few somethings. Something... happens to be the word of the day. Say it with me. Something.

Anyways. I'm a little weird today. Maybe happy would explain it better.

I've been having this bad parent feeling going. Like everything I do is worthless, like I'm staying at home with these guys for no reason. Usually I take my job seriously, and enjoy as much of it as I can. Today I've seemed to have climbed over that wall again. I'm not such a bad parent after all. I think what helped me was this week my mom decided to call, and we met up with her at McDonalds so the kids could play at the playland. (I know sounds goofy and backwards, we did get something to drink) Anyways, we went and my girls are all playing and chasing, and really just being kids. "Look at the freedom." Happened to be what my mom said, while we were there. Well there came in a brother and sister with their mom, and they were maybe 7 years old. They were the sourest kids I have ever seen. The mom was sporting a frown, and the kids refused to play with my kids. Which is fine with me, except they were being nasty about it. Mean-spirited. My only hope for those kids is that they were just having a bad day. However, it made me realize how much I care for my kids. Without even realizing it, I give them the opportunity for amazing joy in their lives, to enjoy everything and encourage them. My kids are happy. They are joyous. They are active, they sing, dance, and play. They cry when they are hurt, they get into trouble, but it doesn't stop them from having a good day.

That's something I think we teach our kids without even realizing it. Your attitude towards life. No one said that life was easy, in fact I doubt that anyone thinks it is. Everyone has problems. It's all about how you handle it. I guess what I am getting at is that maybe I should be focusing on being positive more often than I actually do. I tend to be cynical. And I don't want my kids to mimic the poor behavior I have been modeling. Don't do what I do. Yeah... I need to prove it can be done.

That's the story of the day on Mel's blog.

The number of the day is 4 and the letter of the day is T. Remember the word of the day? It's something. The tissue of the day is Kleenex. In fact the animal of the day is the rare but unique, bald squinty-eyed blue faced monkey who has been holding his breath for way too long for it be healthy.

Alright. That's it.

Dar's motto for our lives.

The girls were cute today. Mom came home with fresh produce from Horrocks. So the girls decided to sit down and demand strawberries and tomatoes. And then Dar wanted blueberry muffins. So we cooked.

I like Dar's misunderstanding nature today.

Laurel was asking how old everyone was. My mom and Jeff were in their rooms at the time, while we were eating breakfast.

Laurel How old is Uncle Barney?
Josh: Next time you see him Laurel, you tell him that he's pushing thirty.
Laurel: Pushing thirty. How old is Aunt Melissa?
Me: Aunt Melissa is...
Josh: Oh yeah, she getting to that age when you don't want everyone else to know...
Me: Aunt Melissa is young and beautiful.
Laurel: How about grandma? (Kingsbury)
Me: She's young and beautiful too.
Dar: She's not beautiful! She's getting dressed!

Obviously being naked in Dar's mind means you're not beautiful just yet.

This is typical. Seriously.

Cassie said strawberry today. I was impressed.

Pick on Laurel day.

I've been wanting to write, but I've been sort of bummed lately. For no obvious reason. Rather than blog about being down and all, I've chosen to be silent. Trust me, it's better this way.

On an up note, I did get a guitar, and actually I'm surprised how fast I've picked it up. It's no wonder that people can play the guitar and not know how to read music. That's so weird and foreign to me; the concept of not being able to read music. Even though I know people who can't.

We took the girls to a playground after church yesterday. Laurel took a spill and of course she talked about it for the rest of the day. "I've got a bandaid." "We went to the playground and I fell." "I fell but daddy washed it and now it is all better." Seriously, is that all she thinks about? The big event of Laurel's day is her huge bandaid on her knee. I'm pretty sure I can make each day feel special by giving her a bandaid every single day for the rest of her life.

That and she got a name sticker (Hello, my name is...) at church, which she promptly decided was her Special Helper sticker, and proceeded to help out the teacher... throughout the entire service. Not a bad thing.

My mother was almost reduced to tears when Josh asked what she learned today and she said "I learned about Jesus. He washed their heads and helped others." And I thought he only washed feet...

Seems almost like it's pick on Laurel day on my blog.

Subway guy #2

I forgot. I have yet another subway guy. Seems like the only interesting guys I meet are subway guys.

This one however, I went to school with. In fact I talked to him periodically. He lives right around the corner from me. And still does... Anyways, so I get into random conversations with Subway guys. And I finally got over my shyness and asked if he was still living out here. He's like yeah, Oh, your Jeff's sister right?

Jeff's sister.

Let me repeat that.

Jeff's sister.

Not Mel, not the funny girl with crazy hair styles, or I had a crush on you in high school or cello chick or anything like that. No, I am Jeff's sister. I talked to the guy more often than Jeff ever would have. Which goes to show you who is the more prolific Kingsbury of the family. The face you can't forget.

That's right.

Jeff.

Can't I be remembered because I'm lovable or by some kind of attribute? Even if it's evil.

No I will now be called Jeff's sister. I won't answer to Mel anymore. That's it. I will forever be known as Jeff's sister... Josh's wife... Laurel's, Adara's, or Cassie's mom... Tonie's daughter... sister-in-law, grand-daughter, niece, aunt, friend and one day someone's grandma.

Yeah I have a name.

Just look at the top of my blog if you've forgotten it.

Hidden talents

So today I stopped by Josh's work. One of the agency's clients asked if the office was a father-son operation, with Josh as the son and Steve as the father. Mind you that Steve is not quite 40 yet, so that would make him 15 if he had Josh... It could happen I suppose. Anyways, Josh has been teasing him since, with things like, Can I borrow the car tonight Pops? Inserting Pops pretty much whenever convient.

So today I came in and said, "I heard you are my new father-in-law."
"Yeah," he says oddly, because Steve usually can kick out the comebacks.

Josh's co-worker Jo laughs, and ends up telling me how Josh has really been pestering him with that, which doesn't surprise me how ostentatious Josh is being. Alright he wasn't being bad about it, just teasing him. Anyways I get ready to leave and lean my head into the doorway and say "Bye, Dad." Jo gets a kick out of it, while he says, "You're grounded!" I come back with, "I haven't been grounded for 10 years!!!"

Not to make him feel old or anything, just fun. I'm sure with how many times I tease that I am going to get it full-tilt when I reach my age of oldness. In fact, I'm pretty sure I get full-tilt teasing now.... Ah well. He was laughing pretty good about the whole ordeal. Hey what can I say, I just make people feel a ton better about getting old. Obviously. My gift. Course he did say that if he wanted that kind of grief he'd just stay home. Is that my gift too? Making people want to go home?

Hmm. I have a lot of hidden talents.

Day to day stuff.

We say the Catholic prayer for dinner time and the girls love it. A few weeks ago, Cassie started saying it with us. Let me tell you, it is hilarious to hear her say words like bounty and Amen. Then the girls all clap and say Amen 50 million times. Cassie gets so excited about it that she forgets that she's hungry. I took some video of it, just so we remember it.

Laurel is turning into quite the kid. She's acting like a regular kid, which isn't the way I raised her. She is actually answering me in a normal way, not just Pungeze (the girls have their own language). It is so weird that she will be five this summer.

Although sometimes I can't wait until she's 20, like right now, she is whining about a book she can't find. That is really annoying, but I have to remind myself she is only four and she deserves my patience. Well she found her book, so I'm going to go read it to her.

The Subway Guy

While I run I always think of stories in my life that have happened, but then I get home and it seems like they have all washed out of my head. I turn on the mom mode when I walk through my front door. How convenient is that.

I didn't say anything about the subway guy. Three weeks ago we went to our bible study as usual. We got out and decided to do a subway run, and knowing they run their ever so thrifty special of 2 footlong subs for 8.99. (Josh always gets the most expensive, while mine is the cheapest, it works out for us) Anyways, so we walk in and there is a couple in front of us. The guy behind the counter is chatting away, like he knows them.

So Josh and I start talking about the study, while they finish up their order. When it's our turn the guy asks what we want and then proceeds to tell us about how on his days off he can never get enough done, like laundry. We laughed and told him we had just gotten ours done, and have this elongated conversation over laundry. Which, whatever, it's conversation, small talk. But this guy just has something about him. I watch him as he greets the next two people who come in the door, a woman and a cop, and the subway guy acts as if he already knows both these guys. Okay, I think, they're regulars.

We go to leave and Subway guy says God Bless. Who says God Bless anymore? Except older guys you know? This guy is maybe 30 at the most.

So I was idly curious about this guy, very friendly one-of-a-kind guy.

So two weeks later, I say, Hey Josh, let's go to subway after study.

We go back and sure enough, the guy is there and he remembers who we are. Seriously. Photogenic memory. Friendliest guy you could ever meet.

And that is the only reason we frequent Subway on Saginaw. Okay and the subs, but you know...