Rescheduled

One of my friends (yes I have a few solid friends that haven't abandoned me yet. Wow that sounded defeatist.) and I were planning on getting together tomorrow night. She had to reschedule. And I started to think on how I would beat myself up in the past over the fact she changed it. Those annoying thoughts would swirl around my head about Is she being honest? Is she rescheduling for something better than me? becoming a skeptic of our relationship. Never thinking that maybe she really did have to reschedule for the reason she said she did. I may laugh about it now. But it was no laughing matter then.

What really helped is the fact that she is accountable for what she says and does. I'm not the one who is going to punish her for it, if she was dishonest. It's all in God's department. And it was really freeing, that I could let it go. One more control issue tackled and conquered. (That will most definitely show up in some mutated form that I will have to tackle and conquer again)

Josh and I started going to a bible study together. Isn't that awesome? We've wanted to since before we got married. God is so amazing. And at an unexpected time as well. Anyways the point is that last night we were talking about judging others. Like I was judging my friend for rescheduling (When I had no reason to believe she was being dishonest or backstabbing me...or anything.) and this is no new subject, when you judge, you are under judgment as well:

I'm not saying this well.

Whenever you judge another person, it is very likely that you have the problem worse than they do. The interesting thing about the idea is that having gone through or currently tackling the subject, it could be helpful to both people, if it is approached right. And that was not what was said at our study, but I was thinking about it.

The first night we went to the study I noticed that I talked way too much. I don't think I was being overly rude or anything, but I know that other people have thoughts and things that they want to say, much more important than something I could say. Okay well not exactly that they were more important, but it felt like I was taking over the room. Being the first night, no one was talking, and it was suppose to be a group discussion, not a Mel-a-thon. I did better last night, however out of the two things I did say, I could have still left one in my head. Oh well. It always seems like I never talk enough and when I do talk, I talk too much.

Where's the balance?