The textbook answer

Right now I'm waiting for Josh to get home so I can go up to the hospital and sweet talk the nurses to treat my mom right. I think the last nurse I saw last night was getting pretty annoyed with me, but she kept forgetting to do things, so I would remind her. Poor woman. She had a lot on her mind, I'm sure.

I'm really asking for prayer, for not just our family but especially for my mom.

We actually went to church last weekend. Josh wants to join in counseling engaged couples for marriage. We had a really awesome couple for our marriage prep and I want to turn around and be able to give that to someone else. We'll see. There is an application process; which we have to apply and interview before we can counsel other people. Who knows. I shouldn't be afraid, but I am. I'm afraid that the people who see my application are going to reject me because of my age or the fact that we haven't been going to church for a few months like that makes me a weak christian or something. I don't want to be going for the wrong reasons. I guess it's their problem if they want to judge me and if I'm not suppose to be involved there then I won't be.

So says the textbook answer.

You'd think that at 24 years old, married, and with 3 kids; that I would feel more like an adult. Honestly, I feel more like a kid each day, as I discover how big this world really is and how minuscule I am in it. I keep realizing how much that I just don't know and could never possibly understand. As if I lost control as a teenager when thought I had the world wrapped around my fingers and had it all figured out.

I think I just don't like being at the mercy of people who are older than me. I have to hope they have have the grace to understand my naivete, and have no way to protect myself from it.