What heels will do

I've never been a girly kind of girl, until after I had my first daughter. I was the tomboy kind of a girl. I didn't own a pair of heels, I didn't have lipstick, in fact, I still don't use lipstick. I didn't own a dress for that matter, but I did have a black skirt, for orchestra concerts (required: white shirt and a black skirt). But other than that, I wore t-shirts. Jeans. Pulled my hair back, all the time. And the silliest part is that I did care then what I looked like, but I carefully crafted the way I put on my clothes each morning. And what showed through was my attitude. Never knowing then, what I would become.

Now, I love heels. I still have my dependable tennis/comfortable vans-like shoes, but I can't help to add a little fun to what I am wearing. Heels are fun. They are my badge of womanhood.

Josh's grandmother looked at me at thanksgiving this year, as I walked in with heels and a skirt, took a double take and said, "I watched you walk in, with confidence, style, and said, now she's a woman."

Funny how a pair of heels suddenly make you a "woman" but I think I did some growing-up that month. I put my foot down to a lot of people, who were walking all over me. I decided that I cared more how I looked and was sick of being the frumpy Mel. I dropped those baby pounds, and took a hard look at the quality of what I was eating as well as the quantity. After 3 years of pregnancy, you tend to forget what is good for you, that people are always trying to get you to eat to "help the baby." I needed a new outlook on life, besides mom, daughter, and everything to everyone. I had to learn how to be myself. Trust me, it's not easy.

I can't help but revert to the old Mel sometimes with her baggy t-shirts and jeans, but I can help how I act. I used to wallow in self-pity. I probably had the most pity parties than anyone around. Then something hit me one day, I was being more selfish by asking, why me? Why does this always happen to me? And I sat up and looked around to see what I could do that would be more productive. At first I would cry over dishes, and be so angry that no one was helping me (again, selfish, but hey, I was working on it.) I had to remember to stop being the "martyr" and be happy in what I was doing. At least I had the ability to do dishes. Everyone in my household (all 7 of us) appreciated when the kitchen was clean. I felt a sense of accomplishment when I got them done. So this week, I didn't do my dishes. And if someone stepped in to help the load, I would thank them and I didn't feel one bit guilty. I don't have to have that affirmation anymore. I had things that were more important, like playing with my kids, and practicing for my audition.

That's what heels will do for a girl.