Its funny to hear Dar singing actual words to Winnie the Pooh. They are audible, but I doubt anyone else but me can understand her.
Today is the poor ritual. Although we aren't as poor as we used to be, I have to walk into the WIC office to get tortured, nasty looks from the staff, (minus one, I think she's actually there for the greater good) and admitting that you are in need of help. How humbling. More like fight and scream, all the while trying to keep all three kids contained in one little room, without stepping on other peoples toes as well. And it's snowing! Okay, time for a little attitude adjustment, I am grateful for these services, my kids love to meet other people and their kids, and I get to show off handling 3 kids that usually behave. They sing, they dance, they usually make the other kids laugh, which is a huge load off the other parents shoulders. Yeah, okay, maybe I can go into this with the right heart. And maybe I can show my archenemy of a social worker what God is all about.
I got to go. My daughters just drew on the front window with cheese.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Darkness on earth, learning experience?
You know I was thinking about it. Maybe God didn't screw up after all with Adam, Eve and sin. I thought we were just a big mistake. But maybe, just maybe we aren't. I was reading an article on relevantmagazine.com, it was about lent, and the author, Kimberlee Conway Ireton, was talking about the dark ages of our lives. I'm going to take this one step further. What if our lives here is one big dark existance, God put us on this earth, so we can learn, feel, and accept things for what they are. We grow. We become stronger people, then when we see Him, not only are we pure in existance, but we have lived through our sins and become real examples of what can be accomplished in a sinful life. Is this what God intended when He designed the garden? He had to know that there was going to be the fall of man, or did He? Either way, it's odd to think that maybe our existances matter, even after life, because no matter what we do, it's to benefit His kingdom, who knows what we are going to see when we get there. There is suppose to be a new earth, a new Jerusalem. Will we have such a happy existance? It's crazy, uncomprehendable, really. All we know is what exists in front of us.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Stream of consciousness.
Well no one has really talked about Open mic night, so I'll take a stab in the dark. Most of this I wrote last night, just to get out of my head so I could sleep, it's pretty much stream of consciousness, it gets less rational (sentence structure is more thought like) until I actually play.
Open Mic Night. So much fun. Coffee, music, people our own age. Just awesome. When I found out about it, I knew I wanted to go. But I kept myself back, saying, why would I want to go to a place with people I don't know and 2 hours of music, and hey! that sounds like fun! Talk about bi-polar. So I decided I'd go to drink a cup of coffee and enjoy it. We kept failing to find a baby-sitter, so I wasn't sure if I'd have to trek it alone, or if Josh was coming. Luckily my mom said yes. Great! We're going! Enjoy some coffee, it'll be great. Got to thinking, what if I kill two birds with one stone, socialize and perform. Yeah...thought some more....whoa, not so great an idea. Scrambled around looking for lost music, sonata in G, too classical, Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer, threw that away. Looked online. Nope. Nothing. Let's get creative.
Wrote a song. Wrote an extended version, practiced like crazy, wasn't coming across right. Threw it to the side. Started on one previously made. Nope, no good. Grabbed my glass of Gatorade and began to think, maybe if I recorded and fooled around, I might find something. Set up the mic, Laurel loved to hear her own voice, let her go. Thought of a couple ideas, didn't even make it to paper. I recorded sketchy versions.
Yesterday, I prayed if mom came home early enough for me to sign-up at 7, I'd take my cello. Unfortunately, she prayed if there was any way to use my God given talent, that God would push me out of the house with it. She came home early. I was going with cello in hand. I showed mom my piece. Hated it, then listened to the rest and loved it. It grows on you. Said I want to hear more. Okay. Started extending it, looking for ways to lengthen. Got it.
Went. Saw. Was very much afraid. Debated on walking out, nope, not an option. I was here. I was going to play if it killed me. Got used to the place, downed a great cup of Venetian mocha (expresso, chocolate, caramel, and cream). Yeah, I can do this. I felt like pawn pieces in a game of chess, each person knew where they wanted to move, now how was I going to get there?
And I did play. How? Don't remember. So nervous my mind blocked my every thought. It was like I was this great machine and I knew what I had to do. There was no going back, no packing up. I was going to do it. People wanted more. No comprehension of agony of getting there, maybe next time. Wished I had more and better stuff. I will, next time, I learned a lot from this. There is no recorded history of a cello soloist who does any other music other than classical and Christmas, maybe jazz. Any other style, never though of, or even remotely touched. Talk about a challenge, it is no wonder there aren't more solo cellists. I've got a lot of work to do to educate this world. There is more to this world than a classical cellist.
There were a lot more people involved, than just me in this. Throughout the night, Josh was getting me more nervous really, and Dan was very encouraging. My mom, of course prayed for me, and we met this really neat couple who just got married. They are really awesome. I'm excited, I certainly know I am not the best, but I have a lot to offer. And who knows, maybe I'll get out of this shy phase once and for all. At least I took that first step.
Open Mic Night. So much fun. Coffee, music, people our own age. Just awesome. When I found out about it, I knew I wanted to go. But I kept myself back, saying, why would I want to go to a place with people I don't know and 2 hours of music, and hey! that sounds like fun! Talk about bi-polar. So I decided I'd go to drink a cup of coffee and enjoy it. We kept failing to find a baby-sitter, so I wasn't sure if I'd have to trek it alone, or if Josh was coming. Luckily my mom said yes. Great! We're going! Enjoy some coffee, it'll be great. Got to thinking, what if I kill two birds with one stone, socialize and perform. Yeah...thought some more....whoa, not so great an idea. Scrambled around looking for lost music, sonata in G, too classical, Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer, threw that away. Looked online. Nope. Nothing. Let's get creative.
Wrote a song. Wrote an extended version, practiced like crazy, wasn't coming across right. Threw it to the side. Started on one previously made. Nope, no good. Grabbed my glass of Gatorade and began to think, maybe if I recorded and fooled around, I might find something. Set up the mic, Laurel loved to hear her own voice, let her go. Thought of a couple ideas, didn't even make it to paper. I recorded sketchy versions.
Yesterday, I prayed if mom came home early enough for me to sign-up at 7, I'd take my cello. Unfortunately, she prayed if there was any way to use my God given talent, that God would push me out of the house with it. She came home early. I was going with cello in hand. I showed mom my piece. Hated it, then listened to the rest and loved it. It grows on you. Said I want to hear more. Okay. Started extending it, looking for ways to lengthen. Got it.
Went. Saw. Was very much afraid. Debated on walking out, nope, not an option. I was here. I was going to play if it killed me. Got used to the place, downed a great cup of Venetian mocha (expresso, chocolate, caramel, and cream). Yeah, I can do this. I felt like pawn pieces in a game of chess, each person knew where they wanted to move, now how was I going to get there?
And I did play. How? Don't remember. So nervous my mind blocked my every thought. It was like I was this great machine and I knew what I had to do. There was no going back, no packing up. I was going to do it. People wanted more. No comprehension of agony of getting there, maybe next time. Wished I had more and better stuff. I will, next time, I learned a lot from this. There is no recorded history of a cello soloist who does any other music other than classical and Christmas, maybe jazz. Any other style, never though of, or even remotely touched. Talk about a challenge, it is no wonder there aren't more solo cellists. I've got a lot of work to do to educate this world. There is more to this world than a classical cellist.
There were a lot more people involved, than just me in this. Throughout the night, Josh was getting me more nervous really, and Dan was very encouraging. My mom, of course prayed for me, and we met this really neat couple who just got married. They are really awesome. I'm excited, I certainly know I am not the best, but I have a lot to offer. And who knows, maybe I'll get out of this shy phase once and for all. At least I took that first step.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I have great respect for performers
Standing up to a crowd? Yeah, laughable. I'm sure I would faint. Okay, not really. But the fear is there and it's real. I would never make it as a comedian or a singer. My voice would crack at every open opportunity. Well, maybe a comedian just because they would laugh at the natural cracking of my voice, but that's not much of a routine. And I'm not that funny. Really, getting me there to be in front of a crowd is the hardest part. I guess it depends on the crowd and how much I wanted to impress or have them like me. It's actually pretty ridiculous, considering how many times I've been in the spotlight. And I still get butterflies. You would think it would get easier. My mother and I were talking this morning about how everyone has insecurities in their life, no matter who you are. Mine just happen to be opening up to other people and I wait for their rejections. And it's not like most the time people really care, why would I think they would decided to mock me then? Suddenly their consciousness wakes up and they mob me on stage? Yeah, only a politician or obscenely opinionated jerk would fall into that category. Maybe the President. Hmm, too bad I don't have bodyguards.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Freedom?
Where is my freedom of a shorter blog? I didn't realize how long it was until I looked at it in regular form. Ah well.
Freedom
Something just happened a few seconds that made me laugh. The ritual hand me downs day. My oldest daughter likes hats. So when we found one in the store that she would love, we picked it up. She happened to be behaving so I handed her the brand new hat. She, in turn, looked for her old hat, that Dar had been wanting to get her hands on, and gave it to her. Dar ran and found her own hat and handed it to Cassie, who happily gurgled and put the hat on her head, inside out, because she had no clue what was happening. Laurel and Dar, proud as a peacocks, have been running around the house in their new hats, having a blast.
It takes so little to thrill my girls. Josh, as he was leaving, looks into the window that is just outside the front door. So Dar runs up to the window, and climbs up the furniture sitting there to say her goodbyes. Josh opens up the window and gives her one last quick kiss, and shuts it again. Laurel looks at the window and says, "agh!(in anguish) Kiss! I want kiss, Daddy!" Lucky for her, Josh forgot something and came back in, so she got her kiss.
They are so funny. I thought, being it a Monday, my day would be hard and frustrating. It is really hard to get out of the Monday blues, even when you don't work that 9-5 job. I work, but my work never ends, so why should Monday be any different?
So for the last few weeks, I've been trying to get out the Monday "routine." Mondays for me, mean that everyone is out of the house, minus my brother who sleeps in until noon. So I get to play, feed and have fun with my kids, for the whole day. Isn't that a great Monday? We get to do what we want, be it play in the tub, color, make artwork, you name it, in almost any part of the house, with not a concept of time, until it is 5 pm. We can watch movies, (even girly ones, since I have all girls!!!) play games, sing as loud as we want, wear what we want....don't you wish our lives are as free on a normal basis? I do.
Why can't our lives be so free? Why do we have such rules on ourselves? Behave a certain way, talk a certain way. Is this what God really intended for us, or were we really suppose to all live in the garden of Eden? I mean come on, people won't know how unique you are, unless you let go and be free. And maybe that is what salvation is about, freeing yourself. That's not to say that you should go jump off a cliff because you want freedom, what are you going to do when you hit bottom? Oops, maybe I should have thought through this some more?
No, the freedom to act and say things how they should be said, and not restricted to the normal daily stuff of visiting McDonalds and getting a happy meal when your 40. Your life shouldn't be so off-limits. Sharing your triumphs and your falls, shouldn't have to be a safe environment thing. But how many of us are really free? So you share those things with other free beings, and safe-guard everything else so it won't be used against you. What a precarious way to live.
I'm in a transitioning point in my life. My best friend is having the time of her life, in South Carolina. My husband is on the verge of a major Christ movement. My kids change everyday. My mom is traveling a lot more than before, with her close friend, and visiting my sister, who is far away as well. And here I am, sitting in a room writing about life in general, where life passes so slowly. I will never see it go that slow again until I'm 90 and can't move anymore. And you know, I think I might just be the most free person of the bunch. I get to take care of my kids, my husband is gracious enough to work harder so we have this chance. I get to see my husband finding what he wants to do with his life and enjoy it immensely. I watch my mother come back from her trips, ecstatic that she found yet another shop full of scarves she bought to match every outfit she owns or has ever owned. My brother is exploring what he wants to do with his life, and he is about as free as they come, if he doesn't want to do it, he won't. No way around it. And yet, in a few years, I will be the one running around with the girls in school, and figuring out, wow, what am I going to do? I guess I'll take a look at life and say simply, I want to be free, and I want to achieve to my full potential before God takes me. And when He takes me, I want Him to be proud of who I was, because right at this moment, I don't care that there is some crown waiting for me. I don't care if the streets are lined in gold, they could be lined in putrid green for all I care. I am simply happy that God has put me here, so I can be who I am, and discover what I can be. I was there when Josh decided to become baptized. And I'll be there when God needs me to be there. I'll surrender my life and dreams, so I can accomplish what God wants. I'm willing.
Are you?
It takes so little to thrill my girls. Josh, as he was leaving, looks into the window that is just outside the front door. So Dar runs up to the window, and climbs up the furniture sitting there to say her goodbyes. Josh opens up the window and gives her one last quick kiss, and shuts it again. Laurel looks at the window and says, "agh!(in anguish) Kiss! I want kiss, Daddy!" Lucky for her, Josh forgot something and came back in, so she got her kiss.
They are so funny. I thought, being it a Monday, my day would be hard and frustrating. It is really hard to get out of the Monday blues, even when you don't work that 9-5 job. I work, but my work never ends, so why should Monday be any different?
So for the last few weeks, I've been trying to get out the Monday "routine." Mondays for me, mean that everyone is out of the house, minus my brother who sleeps in until noon. So I get to play, feed and have fun with my kids, for the whole day. Isn't that a great Monday? We get to do what we want, be it play in the tub, color, make artwork, you name it, in almost any part of the house, with not a concept of time, until it is 5 pm. We can watch movies, (even girly ones, since I have all girls!!!) play games, sing as loud as we want, wear what we want....don't you wish our lives are as free on a normal basis? I do.
Why can't our lives be so free? Why do we have such rules on ourselves? Behave a certain way, talk a certain way. Is this what God really intended for us, or were we really suppose to all live in the garden of Eden? I mean come on, people won't know how unique you are, unless you let go and be free. And maybe that is what salvation is about, freeing yourself. That's not to say that you should go jump off a cliff because you want freedom, what are you going to do when you hit bottom? Oops, maybe I should have thought through this some more?
No, the freedom to act and say things how they should be said, and not restricted to the normal daily stuff of visiting McDonalds and getting a happy meal when your 40. Your life shouldn't be so off-limits. Sharing your triumphs and your falls, shouldn't have to be a safe environment thing. But how many of us are really free? So you share those things with other free beings, and safe-guard everything else so it won't be used against you. What a precarious way to live.
I'm in a transitioning point in my life. My best friend is having the time of her life, in South Carolina. My husband is on the verge of a major Christ movement. My kids change everyday. My mom is traveling a lot more than before, with her close friend, and visiting my sister, who is far away as well. And here I am, sitting in a room writing about life in general, where life passes so slowly. I will never see it go that slow again until I'm 90 and can't move anymore. And you know, I think I might just be the most free person of the bunch. I get to take care of my kids, my husband is gracious enough to work harder so we have this chance. I get to see my husband finding what he wants to do with his life and enjoy it immensely. I watch my mother come back from her trips, ecstatic that she found yet another shop full of scarves she bought to match every outfit she owns or has ever owned. My brother is exploring what he wants to do with his life, and he is about as free as they come, if he doesn't want to do it, he won't. No way around it. And yet, in a few years, I will be the one running around with the girls in school, and figuring out, wow, what am I going to do? I guess I'll take a look at life and say simply, I want to be free, and I want to achieve to my full potential before God takes me. And when He takes me, I want Him to be proud of who I was, because right at this moment, I don't care that there is some crown waiting for me. I don't care if the streets are lined in gold, they could be lined in putrid green for all I care. I am simply happy that God has put me here, so I can be who I am, and discover what I can be. I was there when Josh decided to become baptized. And I'll be there when God needs me to be there. I'll surrender my life and dreams, so I can accomplish what God wants. I'm willing.
Are you?
Sunday, March 13, 2005
I am so happy today. Yesterday, Josh and I were coming home from church and while we were at church I noticed that he had filled out the card at the back of our bulletin. He said he checks it every week just to see if he wants to check any boxes at the bottom, and this week he felt lead to.
Well, on the way home, he said, "You want to know what I filled out on the bulletin?" "Sure."I said. He told me that he decided to check the box that he wanted a pastor to get a hold of him, because he wants to get baptized. He said for some obscure reason since we had been talking about it recently, he decided it was the right timing. How many people have been praying over him, in hoping that this would happen. Let me tell you, it was a lot of people.
I am so excited for him. Crazy enough, I keep thinking about the man who found his son parable, (prodigal son???) Rejoice with me! And he was so happy, he was bursting from the seams. Yes, definitely how I feel.
Well, on the way home, he said, "You want to know what I filled out on the bulletin?" "Sure."I said. He told me that he decided to check the box that he wanted a pastor to get a hold of him, because he wants to get baptized. He said for some obscure reason since we had been talking about it recently, he decided it was the right timing. How many people have been praying over him, in hoping that this would happen. Let me tell you, it was a lot of people.
I am so excited for him. Crazy enough, I keep thinking about the man who found his son parable, (prodigal son???) Rejoice with me! And he was so happy, he was bursting from the seams. Yes, definitely how I feel.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Catholic soapbox
People are crazy. Have you see www.thebricktestaments.com? It's a website with many of the stories of the bible in lego figurines! It even has ratings which I found pretty hilarious. Crazy stuff.
For the last couple of weeks, I've been getting up earlier than my usual time. So I'm up with the kids while Josh sleeps in a little bit before work. Yesterday I was up at 5, today 7. And you wonder why I go to bed rather early??? Otherwise I just wouldn't make it through my exhausting days with the kids.
I've been looking and responding to a person on the Riverview boards, about baptism and Catholism. I think everyone here knows about my husband as a former Catholic, and I made a study of it before we got married. There are quite a few very touchy issues with Catholics. This doesn't pertain to all Catholics, but most....
1. Don't say "saved" to them, they have a negative connotation of it, because at least once in their life, some Baptist or evangelist came up to them and asked them that fateful question, Are you saved?
2. Baptism at birth is still baptism to them, although it isn't their choice. Most protestants, (minus the hierarchical faiths, Lutheran etc.) view these baptisms as "dedications" of the baby to the church.
3. Catholism vs. Christianity. Most Catholics consider themselves Christians, when there are two different meanings to this word. 1. Christian itself means to believe in Christ. 2. Christian to a protestant is about having Christ as your personal savior. Two totally different things, and Catholics are oblivious to it, because they won't discuss being saved! The English language is full of these ridiculous idiocities, with one word having several meanings. The same thing happens when protestants say saved. Catholics say they are saved because they believe Christ is their savior. No wonder we are screwed up. I wonder if other languages have this same problem.
4. Questioning their faith and how Mary and the saints come into play. They usually look at you like you are stupid, and most protestants blow this out of proportion. The saints and Mary are merely ways to pray without directly bothering God (not meant to be offensive). You ask Saint Christopher to help you with your travels, because he is the saint of lost travelers. I stand corrected, (joshology) you are asking the saints to intercede on your behalf to God. Because God blessed them with powers, (2 miracles equal sainthood in Catholism) they are asked to intercede to God, it's like a more help with prayer kind of thing.
Isn't it funny how different the "Christian" (ones who believe in Christ) faiths are? I wonder somedays why I ever got mixed up in this. They weren't kidding that the divorce rates were skyrocketing because of mix-faith marriages. Lucky for our marriage, we more depend on each other to get through our faiths rather than at each other's throats.
Although we did start to fight about it this morning......then said this is ridiculous, we already realize the differences between faiths, putting in on paper is not a fighting matter.
How do you get around these blind attacks that separate our faiths? We all believe in one God, and we all worship the same God. Why is it so hard to accept others with different faiths? Because our standing point of our beliefs are a strong indication of who you are? Is it really a stereotype? I think it is. Oh, you're Catholic. Oh, you're non-denomational, you can't even decide what "type" of faith you are. Really people! Grow up! I don't care. Same God. God doesn't look down at us and separates the Catholics from the Lutherans and determines that one is good and the other is better. At least we believe there is an omnipotent being! The athetists have a stronger foothold because their "faith" (meaning no faith, just fate) has no divisions. They don't fight about not having a God. So why should we fight about having one?
I just started reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and I like what he says about humans in general. Parenthesis mine.
"We have to be taught to be good (as children). It doesn't come completely natural. In my mind, that's a flaw in the human condition."
Maybe that's something to take into consideration when we talk about one ultimate faith. It isn't possible. God's goal in revelations is everyone believing in God in one moment. It just doesn't matter what "religion" you are, as long as you believe in Christ and His word. That's all we got.
For the last couple of weeks, I've been getting up earlier than my usual time. So I'm up with the kids while Josh sleeps in a little bit before work. Yesterday I was up at 5, today 7. And you wonder why I go to bed rather early??? Otherwise I just wouldn't make it through my exhausting days with the kids.
I've been looking and responding to a person on the Riverview boards, about baptism and Catholism. I think everyone here knows about my husband as a former Catholic, and I made a study of it before we got married. There are quite a few very touchy issues with Catholics. This doesn't pertain to all Catholics, but most....
1. Don't say "saved" to them, they have a negative connotation of it, because at least once in their life, some Baptist or evangelist came up to them and asked them that fateful question, Are you saved?
2. Baptism at birth is still baptism to them, although it isn't their choice. Most protestants, (minus the hierarchical faiths, Lutheran etc.) view these baptisms as "dedications" of the baby to the church.
3. Catholism vs. Christianity. Most Catholics consider themselves Christians, when there are two different meanings to this word. 1. Christian itself means to believe in Christ. 2. Christian to a protestant is about having Christ as your personal savior. Two totally different things, and Catholics are oblivious to it, because they won't discuss being saved! The English language is full of these ridiculous idiocities, with one word having several meanings. The same thing happens when protestants say saved. Catholics say they are saved because they believe Christ is their savior. No wonder we are screwed up. I wonder if other languages have this same problem.
4. Questioning their faith and how Mary and the saints come into play. They usually look at you like you are stupid, and most protestants blow this out of proportion. The saints and Mary are merely ways to pray without directly bothering God (not meant to be offensive). You ask Saint Christopher to help you with your travels, because he is the saint of lost travelers. I stand corrected, (joshology) you are asking the saints to intercede on your behalf to God. Because God blessed them with powers, (2 miracles equal sainthood in Catholism) they are asked to intercede to God, it's like a more help with prayer kind of thing.
Isn't it funny how different the "Christian" (ones who believe in Christ) faiths are? I wonder somedays why I ever got mixed up in this. They weren't kidding that the divorce rates were skyrocketing because of mix-faith marriages. Lucky for our marriage, we more depend on each other to get through our faiths rather than at each other's throats.
Although we did start to fight about it this morning......then said this is ridiculous, we already realize the differences between faiths, putting in on paper is not a fighting matter.
How do you get around these blind attacks that separate our faiths? We all believe in one God, and we all worship the same God. Why is it so hard to accept others with different faiths? Because our standing point of our beliefs are a strong indication of who you are? Is it really a stereotype? I think it is. Oh, you're Catholic. Oh, you're non-denomational, you can't even decide what "type" of faith you are. Really people! Grow up! I don't care. Same God. God doesn't look down at us and separates the Catholics from the Lutherans and determines that one is good and the other is better. At least we believe there is an omnipotent being! The athetists have a stronger foothold because their "faith" (meaning no faith, just fate) has no divisions. They don't fight about not having a God. So why should we fight about having one?
I just started reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and I like what he says about humans in general. Parenthesis mine.
"We have to be taught to be good (as children). It doesn't come completely natural. In my mind, that's a flaw in the human condition."
Maybe that's something to take into consideration when we talk about one ultimate faith. It isn't possible. God's goal in revelations is everyone believing in God in one moment. It just doesn't matter what "religion" you are, as long as you believe in Christ and His word. That's all we got.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Intimacy? From Mel's Point of view.
You know I get most of my thoughts for these blogs just from normal life, but before I start to write I look at a couple of websites, email and so on. Today I happen to be reading Dan's site, and since you can't leave a post for some obscure reason, I decided, what the heck, make a topic of it.
He was reading Christianity today and you can read for yourself what he said, here.
I don't think that is entirely accurate. I think people are going to express their Christianity in every way they possibly can. Some people are super outgoing, and are going to express it that way, for an example, as bubbly and always thinking of how God is working for them and telling others of what they noticed. The more reserved one are taking it like a private session to talk with God and maybe share the more interesting parts.
It is true that people who think they are "spiritual" are usually the ones that end up giving up on God, but take a look at the bottom of the page on Noels site called Legalism, everyone has to figure out how their Christianity works out.
Being intimate with God, no, its not a mystical thing, its the interworkings of how you got through life and that God has been there for you. It's more the relationship effects, prayer, and how you live your life, which is what I think Eugene Peterson was getting at in a extremely opinionated but different way.
I know certainly in my relationship with God, I don't get the "warm fuzzies" whenever I talk to him, but I become humbled when I do go to Him in serious prayer. The rest of my prayer is pretty sporadic. Quite honestly, in Mr. Petterson's article, is it really the right way to approach people by lying to them about faith? And about modern churches, most people aren't going to understand and believe by putting on a robe, that this humbles you for communion. I think it's a mindset. And unfortunately, a very poor example of Christian living. I can understand his way of thinking that modern churches are fluff, but no matter what church you are in, (which is what he was getting at somewhat, he was contradictory) you can praise God wholeheartedly. Most people would prefer an environment they are comfortable in, to praise God.
Luckily we can make these decisions in our life, as to how to be with God. Sure, intimacy isn't some superficial, lets boast to others what my "faith" does for me, kind of thing.
It's more a side note, a benefit from seeking God and His wisdom.
And quite frankly, because you lean on Him, the rest of your life makes sense as well. Maybe we shouldn't be so focused on this idea of intimacy, let it come naturally, and I think you'll find the longer you believe in God, the more the blessing of it will come. But hey, what do I know?
He was reading Christianity today and you can read for yourself what he said, here.
I don't think that is entirely accurate. I think people are going to express their Christianity in every way they possibly can. Some people are super outgoing, and are going to express it that way, for an example, as bubbly and always thinking of how God is working for them and telling others of what they noticed. The more reserved one are taking it like a private session to talk with God and maybe share the more interesting parts.
It is true that people who think they are "spiritual" are usually the ones that end up giving up on God, but take a look at the bottom of the page on Noels site called Legalism, everyone has to figure out how their Christianity works out.
Being intimate with God, no, its not a mystical thing, its the interworkings of how you got through life and that God has been there for you. It's more the relationship effects, prayer, and how you live your life, which is what I think Eugene Peterson was getting at in a extremely opinionated but different way.
I know certainly in my relationship with God, I don't get the "warm fuzzies" whenever I talk to him, but I become humbled when I do go to Him in serious prayer. The rest of my prayer is pretty sporadic. Quite honestly, in Mr. Petterson's article, is it really the right way to approach people by lying to them about faith? And about modern churches, most people aren't going to understand and believe by putting on a robe, that this humbles you for communion. I think it's a mindset. And unfortunately, a very poor example of Christian living. I can understand his way of thinking that modern churches are fluff, but no matter what church you are in, (which is what he was getting at somewhat, he was contradictory) you can praise God wholeheartedly. Most people would prefer an environment they are comfortable in, to praise God.
Luckily we can make these decisions in our life, as to how to be with God. Sure, intimacy isn't some superficial, lets boast to others what my "faith" does for me, kind of thing.
It's more a side note, a benefit from seeking God and His wisdom.
And quite frankly, because you lean on Him, the rest of your life makes sense as well. Maybe we shouldn't be so focused on this idea of intimacy, let it come naturally, and I think you'll find the longer you believe in God, the more the blessing of it will come. But hey, what do I know?
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Talking sessions
Yesterday, I felt successful. I got a lot accomplished, and even Josh noticed that everything was clean and sparkling. Usually there are toys spattered everywhere, the dishes in a pile, (even if I had done several loads throughout the day) and whatever artwork Laurel has concocted is strewn all over grandma's bedroom floor. Yesterday, I was able to set Laurel up with the microphone on the computer and she must of talked for a good 2 hours. I think she likes the sound of her voice, and she never tires of it.
So I got a ton done, that means this morning will be a breeze. Because everything is fresh and nothing needs to be done immediately. Sip on my cup of tea and enjoy the sunrise. Okay I don't drink tea, or coffee...sip on my jug of Gatorade and.....
Yeah anyways, last night Josh and I got a talking session in. We talked until midnight (that's late for us, I usually go to bed at 9 or 10) and it wasn't our usual banter. Every once in a while it's nice to have adult conversation, without mention of the kids. Actually it's very nice. Sometimes you wonder if the kids are all you have in common, my husband and I are two totally different people. Black and white. He talks your ear off, I listen. He does everything right and ridged, I taught him how to be somewhat spontaneous. He relies on knowledge to get him through situations, I toss it to the wind. He BS's really well, I can't make up things to say to save my life.
So these talking sessions are really helpful. We get all of our opposite ways and refine them down, so we aren't offending each other. One of my sore spots are his parents and how they put their daughter on a pedestal. So he knows to avoid that, unless he really wants to fight. He can't stand the kids when they don't want to go to bed and scream out in defiance and end up waking another sister. Not that it doesn't annoy me, but it just sets him on edge. We all have quirky little things in our lives and marriages.
Lucky for us, our main structure in our marriage is communication. What is really cool is talking about the people and things we pray for each day, and how it affects our lives. Josh is starting to really get into this praying craze. And God has been listening, not that I doubted that. But it's been really neat to see God working in his life. Josh is a pretty earnest person, I think God takes him much more seriously than any prayer I could have ever had. Maybe there is this male bonding thing going on, I don't know, I tend to think of God more male anyways. Not that it really matters, just if you haven't noticed, guys think differently than girls. There are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part. I haven't met a guy as crazy as me yet, and I doubt there is someone who is so morally upstanding as my husband that is a woman. Besides would I really want a male me? Yeah, thank goodness God gave me what I have, so I can enjoy those opposing qualities that I don't find in myself.
You know I was reading the last proverb, from Noels site, proverb 31, and he said something that I disagreed with. I don't think that the picture depicted of the woman is too high. I've seen it in action. Remember I told you about the woman that I used to work for, who was a pastor's wife? She was a spitting image of this woman. Strict, got everything done, and was wise beyond belief. I can see a lot of qualities even in myself that I've always liked, I think it gives us hope. If you try to be wise, you will be able to do so much more, because you are capable. Course there is a catch, you have to seek wisdom. But look at all she can do! God will give you all time in the world to accomplish anything, if you are a God fearing, wisdom seeking person. Kinda awesome, don't you think?
So I got a ton done, that means this morning will be a breeze. Because everything is fresh and nothing needs to be done immediately. Sip on my cup of tea and enjoy the sunrise. Okay I don't drink tea, or coffee...sip on my jug of Gatorade and.....
Yeah anyways, last night Josh and I got a talking session in. We talked until midnight (that's late for us, I usually go to bed at 9 or 10) and it wasn't our usual banter. Every once in a while it's nice to have adult conversation, without mention of the kids. Actually it's very nice. Sometimes you wonder if the kids are all you have in common, my husband and I are two totally different people. Black and white. He talks your ear off, I listen. He does everything right and ridged, I taught him how to be somewhat spontaneous. He relies on knowledge to get him through situations, I toss it to the wind. He BS's really well, I can't make up things to say to save my life.
So these talking sessions are really helpful. We get all of our opposite ways and refine them down, so we aren't offending each other. One of my sore spots are his parents and how they put their daughter on a pedestal. So he knows to avoid that, unless he really wants to fight. He can't stand the kids when they don't want to go to bed and scream out in defiance and end up waking another sister. Not that it doesn't annoy me, but it just sets him on edge. We all have quirky little things in our lives and marriages.
Lucky for us, our main structure in our marriage is communication. What is really cool is talking about the people and things we pray for each day, and how it affects our lives. Josh is starting to really get into this praying craze. And God has been listening, not that I doubted that. But it's been really neat to see God working in his life. Josh is a pretty earnest person, I think God takes him much more seriously than any prayer I could have ever had. Maybe there is this male bonding thing going on, I don't know, I tend to think of God more male anyways. Not that it really matters, just if you haven't noticed, guys think differently than girls. There are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part. I haven't met a guy as crazy as me yet, and I doubt there is someone who is so morally upstanding as my husband that is a woman. Besides would I really want a male me? Yeah, thank goodness God gave me what I have, so I can enjoy those opposing qualities that I don't find in myself.
You know I was reading the last proverb, from Noels site, proverb 31, and he said something that I disagreed with. I don't think that the picture depicted of the woman is too high. I've seen it in action. Remember I told you about the woman that I used to work for, who was a pastor's wife? She was a spitting image of this woman. Strict, got everything done, and was wise beyond belief. I can see a lot of qualities even in myself that I've always liked, I think it gives us hope. If you try to be wise, you will be able to do so much more, because you are capable. Course there is a catch, you have to seek wisdom. But look at all she can do! God will give you all time in the world to accomplish anything, if you are a God fearing, wisdom seeking person. Kinda awesome, don't you think?
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