Stream of consciousness.

Well no one has really talked about Open mic night, so I'll take a stab in the dark. Most of this I wrote last night, just to get out of my head so I could sleep, it's pretty much stream of consciousness, it gets less rational (sentence structure is more thought like) until I actually play.

Open Mic Night. So much fun. Coffee, music, people our own age. Just awesome. When I found out about it, I knew I wanted to go. But I kept myself back, saying, why would I want to go to a place with people I don't know and 2 hours of music, and hey! that sounds like fun! Talk about bi-polar. So I decided I'd go to drink a cup of coffee and enjoy it. We kept failing to find a baby-sitter, so I wasn't sure if I'd have to trek it alone, or if Josh was coming. Luckily my mom said yes. Great! We're going! Enjoy some coffee, it'll be great. Got to thinking, what if I kill two birds with one stone, socialize and perform. Yeah...thought some more....whoa, not so great an idea. Scrambled around looking for lost music, sonata in G, too classical, Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer, threw that away. Looked online. Nope. Nothing. Let's get creative.
Wrote a song. Wrote an extended version, practiced like crazy, wasn't coming across right. Threw it to the side. Started on one previously made. Nope, no good. Grabbed my glass of Gatorade and began to think, maybe if I recorded and fooled around, I might find something. Set up the mic, Laurel loved to hear her own voice, let her go. Thought of a couple ideas, didn't even make it to paper. I recorded sketchy versions.
Yesterday, I prayed if mom came home early enough for me to sign-up at 7, I'd take my cello. Unfortunately, she prayed if there was any way to use my God given talent, that God would push me out of the house with it. She came home early. I was going with cello in hand. I showed mom my piece. Hated it, then listened to the rest and loved it. It grows on you. Said I want to hear more. Okay. Started extending it, looking for ways to lengthen. Got it.
Went. Saw. Was very much afraid. Debated on walking out, nope, not an option. I was here. I was going to play if it killed me. Got used to the place, downed a great cup of Venetian mocha (expresso, chocolate, caramel, and cream). Yeah, I can do this. I felt like pawn pieces in a game of chess, each person knew where they wanted to move, now how was I going to get there?
And I did play. How? Don't remember. So nervous my mind blocked my every thought. It was like I was this great machine and I knew what I had to do. There was no going back, no packing up. I was going to do it. People wanted more. No comprehension of agony of getting there, maybe next time. Wished I had more and better stuff. I will, next time, I learned a lot from this. There is no recorded history of a cello soloist who does any other music other than classical and Christmas, maybe jazz. Any other style, never though of, or even remotely touched. Talk about a challenge, it is no wonder there aren't more solo cellists. I've got a lot of work to do to educate this world. There is more to this world than a classical cellist.

There were a lot more people involved, than just me in this. Throughout the night, Josh was getting me more nervous really, and Dan was very encouraging. My mom, of course prayed for me, and we met this really neat couple who just got married. They are really awesome. I'm excited, I certainly know I am not the best, but I have a lot to offer. And who knows, maybe I'll get out of this shy phase once and for all. At least I took that first step.