Sometimes I feel so bland. Like I'm not passionate about anything. I like some things more, but I'm not entirely ecstatic about anything. Instead of finding that niche, it seems like I am always falling. Is it just that I like the feeling of falling? Or am I just holding on to something way too tightly, that it makes me not want anything else more?
I think I'm afraid of the consequences of "more."
Maybe it's not "more" that I am afraid of, maybe I just need to sit tight and wait out this portion of my life. I tend to be irrational when it comes to hurrying God's will. I never stop to smell the roses. I just try to push and shove. Floundering to find what I like about the situation I am in.
I get jaded opportunities, one-way roads to failure. Honestly, I think that it's just God saying, "Stay put." Half the time I wonder if He's preparing me for something big, besides the rest of my life with these little interludes of entertainment. I don't mind that so much, but it's the unknowing that bugs me.
Maybe I need a little less control and a little more faith.
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