Inspiration

You know, I was reading some other blogs and one person had gone into detail of what they wanted their life to be like. A little surrealistic, but very fine tuned and detailed. I was inspired by it.

My best friend, whom I’ve know for, oh wow, 15 years, came over yesterday to tell me that she is moving next week. It’s not like we’ve never been separated before, remember I moved up to Marquette for a couple years. But it is her first venture away from home. Like me, she was a late-bloomer. Maybe that’s why we got along so great.

I knew she was moving but I was hoping I would have a little more time with her around. She was my maid of honor at my wedding and Laurel's godmother. We would workout at the gym each week and go out for coffee, (yes, I know, nullifies the point of working out.) But the best part of those workout sessions was the conversation. I would call it that we were getting a physical workout or an emotional workout. Either way I was satisfied. Being that she is Catholic, although not religiously, she had a lot of issues. The world seemed to have found her, and claimed her as its own. And she gave herself up to it. So her only source of wisdom and accountability was me. Yes. Unfortunately, God nagged at me constantly. I love her with all my heart, but deep down, I know that if I had not gotten married, I would be in that same spot she had gotten herself into.

You wonder why God does things.

You know what I really wanted to do with my life? I wanted to get an apartment high above a city, and live with my cat(s), writing songs until break of day. I’d probably have some day job, which I probably wouldn’t have been happy with, but I don’t think it would have mattered. I wanted to learn every instrument I got my hands on, and my poor neighbors would be enduring it through the night, because my mind just comes alive with melodies and harmonies. I don’t know how many times I’ve created a full orchestra piece in a night, just in my head, and I know exactly who was playing what, and when they came in. If I wasn’t so lazy, and being I have kids, (i.e. catch sleep when possible) I should have written all of it down, instead of sleep, or fooling myself into thinking that I would remember it in the morning. Yeah, I’m not sure I would have even gotten married, maybe if the right guy had come around. I’m not sure any guy would have pursued me, he’d really have to sweep me off my feet, I don’t know, I just have a feeling I’d been alone. Eventually, I would start to move around, I’d love to live in Paris, or London, with their little streets and marketplaces spattered all over the city. Where you walk and on one street corner is a bagpiper playing for a few coins, and on the other little stands selling odds and ends. It’s not like that here in America. People are so caught up in going to work and not following their passions. And this coming from a woman who dreams of living alone, and really wakes up to 3 kids, a husband, shares a house with her mother and brother, and is waiting for her chance to go to college, after the kids are in school. You make the best of what you have, and make sacrifices so that others lives are better. Most of the time I don’t mind.

And all my best friend wants out of life is a big bathtub.