I always thought of myself as this tough girl. And in many ways I was. I could handle almost anything myself. So I thought. I realized my problem is that whole letting people help me, or asking for help. I have hard time accepting that. Lately, I've been asking for help. And taking help when it's offered, slowly letting go of my independent streak and handling a little humility along the way.
It was very much a pride issue that I did everything myself. I would never let anyone into my small little world, I still struggle to let others in. However, in this season of my life, I've found a few people who have weaseled into my world, without me even knowing it.
And I kinda like it.
I don't mind being broken, persay, because the results are much greater than the backwards steps I take. I like knowing each day is going to be a new day, and it gives me a chance to learn something else new. I like that being the tough girl isn't so important to me anymore, because "strong" doesn't mean you have to be tough. You are just resolved. It's an ending almost, strong can mean that you change. Tough is something you have to work at each day, to maintain. Strong is a characteristic describing who you are.
Actually I was reading a book, and it was talking about the struggles of Job, and strong was the word used to describe him. But not only did the word strong describe him, but it was him. It defined him as if that word was made just for him.
I wonder if I have such a personality trait that a word is made just to describe me.
"Crazy" comes to mind....
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