The crazy world of Mel

I don't want to fight today. My daughters are into everything today. Cassie keeps turning the tv on, Dar scours the house for a pencil, so she can write on every book she can find, and they are very whiny today. Needless to say, they've all had plenty of timeouts today. And it isn't even lunchtime.

Since I don't want to fight, I got online, and looked at different topics and blogs, and those I would normally post on, I cast to the side distastefully. I'm almost lethargic in a way, like the world can pass me by today, and I wouldn't care. They could bomb the towers again, and I wouldn't be watching it faithfully on the news. Okay, I'd think about it.

Somedays I wonder why I have such different mood swings daily, even hourly. I can be a totally and completely different person, from day to day, depending on my mood. Change has always been a factor in my life, considering even my moods change and I'm never the same person. Consistent? Somewhat. I still believe basically the same things as I did before. Just how they are executed are different.

Somedays, I have so much energy, people will ask me how I get that energy. I don't know I say, and bounce from one end of the room to the next. Then the oppisite, I can be so lazy that I don't get up from the couch, I wrap my feet around the coffee table to bring it closer so I can grab the remote, just so I don't have to get up. Okay, laziness is rare. Most days I am cynical, but there are days when I am hopeful. I am rarely peaceful, and usually reek havoc on anything I touch. Not that I try to be this way. I just am.

I've often wondered if I'm just chemically inbalenced, or if it's just the way my body is made. The great thing about my body is I can inhale caffiene and not worry about sleeping at night. When I was pregnant, I took that glucose test (you pretty much have to take when you're pregnant) when you drink a glass full of sugar, to see if you had diabetes. Here I was, more relaxed than I have ever been, almost drugged and thinking wow, this is nice. They couldn't prove I had any diabetes, but it proved a minor point, my body just doesn't react to sugar like most people. The nurses were just wowed by the fact that I was so relaxed, after consuming that much sugar.

My first delivery I was too close to giving birth, so they gave me a shot of Stadal (yeah I don't know how to spell it). I really don't remember what went on, only that I was in and out of sleep and the pain was horrible. I don't usually swear, but I guess I shouted out a couple a obsenities, and told the nurse to muzzle the lady down the hall who had been screaming for the last 8 hours. Then suddenly I woke up and it was time to push. Craziness.

Well that's enough on the crazy world of Mel.